Fretful, Anxious, Querulous

Your guide to the world that is Chocolate Badger.

 

Who are Chocolate Badger?

Four disreputable old idiots, a tennis player, and the 1996, 1998, & 1999 National Ladies Rally Champion.

 

Why?

She drove faster than the others.

 

No, I meant why are Chocolate Badger?

We are inspired by the Beatles song “And Your Bird Can Sing”. Also we need to build up a lot of tax losses.

 

What do they play?

Anything in 4/4, anything with no black notes, anything anyone who is paying asks for.

 

Where?

England and Wales . Abroad if you can lend us an adaptor. Anywhere out of earshot.

 

How much?

It’ll seem like enough

 

No, I meant how much money?

Its like Ebay in reverse – we keep reducing our fee until you say “Yes”

 

Do I have to feed them?

No, we are all able to feed ourselves except possibly the drummer who may need a bib.

 

What will they drink?

Ribena, Cherryade, Lemon Barley Water.

 

What if I decide not to book them?

We will come round and set fire to the tent – see homepage.

 

What about old people at my party – will they be upset?

If they are any older than the band they won’t be able to hear them

 

Will Naomi Campbell come home with me after the gig?

Absolutely 100% guaranteed.

 

Are the band able to help with sexual dysfunction?

Yes, they are all highly trained Sex Education Counsellors at the London Borough of Hackney with a strong emphasis on practical work.